Do you want a Thai boyfriend? Start behaving like you are 15 again!

Being single in Thailand has its ups and downs. Luckily, there are more better things than bad. One of them being that you can date anyone you want…Well, unless they are Thai.

I have 3 teachers at my school that obviously like me. Unfortunately, they are so shy that they only could express their admiration for me when they were drunk during our New Year’s party. One of them, 23-year old Boy, courted me throughout the whole time, being a true gentleman, the second one – who I call the Thai God (as he really is a good looking man) – danced with me and chatted me up, and the third one – the PE Teacher told me he loved me and then ran away to his table, hiding behind his colleague (mind you, he is around 30 years old).

All 3 are adorable, cute, and really nice, but overly shy. After the party they only smile at me from a distance and occasionally help me with carrying books, or plates when we are having lunch, but they never chat to me.

I do not treat the whole thing seriously. I find it extremely funny and take this opportunity to gather some nice stories for my blog. Yes, it would be nice to date one of them, but if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t happen.

Very often my sister and I wonder how Thai nation survived. Not only you don’t see couples holding hands, but also you don’t see Thai men hitting on any women in clubs, bars, nor on the street. We wondered how this whole dating thing works here. Do they ask each other out? And if so, who asks whom? We discussed this subject multiple times. I think I have finally found my answer yesterday.

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We had a big ceremony at school that started at 5am on Monday morning. During the whole day there were prayers, so I was hiding in the Teacher’s room. Only a couple of times I had to attend the ceremony. While sitting on the floor, in front of the Buddha image, I noticed the Boy, the Thai God and the PE Teacher all staring at me. I seriously don’t know how to react to this kind of attention. Normally, I would come up to at least one of them, and maybe ask them out, but the culture here is so different that I do not know what’s allowed and what’s not. So I just return their smiles and go on with my life.

At around 7pm (yes,we were at school from 5am until 8pm) other teachers and I went outside to eat. We sat on the stairs when the Thai God passed us by and smiled at me.

‘OOh’ said my Boss, raising his eyebrows ‘new boyfriend? You like him?’ he asked.

I didn’t know what to say to that, but then thought ‘oh what the hell!’ and admitted that, indeed, I really liked the boy.

Teacher M, a very cute female colleague of mine, called theThai God to us and started saying something quickly to him in Thai. All I understood was that I liked him, and she was asking if he liked me. I went red from top of my head to the tip of my toes. This was like in high school.

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The Thai God said that he did like me and looked at me, and smiled.

Then they proceeded questioning him and then ‘advertising’ him to me. ‘He is so tall, and handsome, and has rich parents, and he is an architect, and will have his office in a few years, when he is done with teaching’. And during the whole thing they were serious. They weren’t joking. They were really trying to get this guy to date me…or whatever it is called, here in Thailand. I stopped protesting after a couple of minutes, and I just nodded and looked at the guy like he was a prize in a contest.

‘If you marry him, you will give me 25% from the wedding gifts’ laughed my Boss.

Suddenly, the Boy turned up.

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‘Jo, which one do you prefer?’ asked my Boss. Shit, this question was so out of order, but they all waited for me to reply. The Boy and the Thai God were staring at me. I quickly changed the subject.

My Boss wrinkled his nose and said ‘I think the Thai God is better. He is taller and you like tall, right?’ Oh my god! Nothing can stay a secret in this school. I had mentioned something about height to one of the teachers, and now probably a whole school knows.

We finished eating and went inside the school. I sat next to Teacher M to observe the final ceremony. At the end the monks were throwing coins and sweets at us. I caught a couple of coins. ‘Keep it’ said Teacher M ‘it’s for good luck’. I smiled at her ‘Maybe it’s for good luck to find a new boyfriend’. ‘Yes’ she replied ‘to get the Thai God’.

So, now I know how to get a Thai boyfriend. You need to know someone, who knows someone,  and ask them to say something nice about you to whoever you like and then behave like you are in high school again. Easy-peasy!