I’ve just finished a book by Elizabeth Gilbert, the same woman who wrote ‘Eat, pray, love’. Not sure what the English title is exactly, but in Polish it is something like ‘Until death do us apart’ (or something along these lines).
The book is about marriage. It was written when the author and her future (second) husband were forced to go around South-East Asia while they were waiting for his US visa (he is Brazilian). The only condition for him to get it was for them to get married, which she was not very happy about. After her first marriage and the depression she’d gone through during the divorce, she didn’t want to risk it, but then…well, she didn’t have a choice.
So, in the book, she looks for some reasoning and some positives in the history of marriage. There are a lot of interesting facts, which I won’t go into now and allow you to discover the book yourself. The only thing that stuck in my mind was the bit about risk of falling in love while travelling. It turns out that people who travel around tend to fall in love and have affair a lot more than people who don’t go anywhere at all. There are many reasons of why this is: sun, hot weather, sound of the sea and birds, a sense of relaxation, but also instability, changing places all the time and insecurity. The stress created by travelling causes people to act unreasonably, making them commit things they wouldn’t normally do.
The same happens when someone loses a parent, or a person very close and dear to them. The sadness and stress is the first trigger for us to look for some compassion, warmth and…love.
This also reminds me of an article I read in ‘Men’s Health’, or some other magazine for alpha males. It was a list of situations when a woman wants sex the most. One of them was ‘a death of her beloved aunt’. Apparently, during extreme moments of sadness we just want to get rid of the pressure and sex is the best cure.
Why am I talking about deaths if going travelling is such a joyful experience? Well, it turns out that mentioned instability and stress related to it, experienced during our trips, can be compared to a loss of someone close. To be honest, I think it’s more to do with sun and beach and some romantic settings rather than staying in a hostel or catching a local bus.
The whole chapter dedicated to the problem of cheating during travelling made me think of me and my relationship. Obviously, I’m not going there to meet another guy. I’m going to do some sightseeing, to drink beer on the beach and swim until my skin wrinkles..but…what if? I just hope my love is strong enough and I will be an exception to the rule. On the other hand, I’m too lazy to try to impress someone. I prefer to snuggle with Adam on the couch and watch some chick flick (after I negotiate the choice of the film, swearing we’ll watch Batman next).