I haven’t updated the blog for a while, mainly because the fact that I’m busy, and if I’m not busy I am tired. I mean, tired to a point that I can’t keep up with the daily world. For the last week or so I have been suffering from insomnia. I sleep a few hours per night, wake up at 2 am and can’t fall back to sleep. My mind goes on 100 miles an hour and doesn’t want to stop, and I still need to get up at 6 and go to work. I still need to get on a packed train, walk down to the underground with thousands of other tired passengers, sit at my desk for 7 hours and pretend that I’m doing something, so the Company can pay me my share at the end of this month.
There are a couple of reasons why I can’t sleep. Mainly because I’m nervous about the trip and what will become of me in the next few months. I’m so anxious that I have a feeling that I don’t really want to go anymore. I want to curl in a ball, suck my thumb and cry like a baby!
I need to move out from my flat, I need to close the bills, I need to do so many things…and because my sleepless nights I can’t do them, because I’m too tired to, and because I can’t do them, I worry and don’t sleep at night – this is what you call a blind circle.
I’m filled with sadness because I’m leaving my friends, but mostly because I’m leaving someone special, someone who appeared in my life and seems like decent and honest guy – and let me tell you, there are not many like them in this world. He is younger and maybe his age makes him so wonderfully open and exciting.
From other news:
-my divorce has been granted. I am a 32 divorcee. It came just in time before my trip, so at least I don’t need to worry about that, right?
-my Thai visa has been declined because the embassy said that the letter my school had sent to them was incorrect. I don’t think I have time to apply for a new one, so I will go on my tourist visa and try to sort out the non-immigrant one while I’m in Australia. I can’t even be bothered to worry about it!
And that’s it folks! All my worries in a few short paragraphs.
If you want to know where I am going, check it out here:
Have you ever left everything and went traveling? How did that make you feel? Were you sad, excited, anxious? Or maybe you’re thinking about going away. How do you think you would feel if you did leave everything behind and went somewhere unknown? Don’t be shy! Leave a comment!